Thai Coconut Curry

If you know anything about me, you know that I LOVE thai food. I am always scoping out restaurants, grocery stores, and Thailand for my next delicious meal. I have even ventured deep into the aisles of Trader Joe's and bought a basketful of those lil noodle boxes. Now that I'm in France, I don't have Trader Joe's so that means I have to cook it for myself. When I saw this recipe, it caught my eye. It was a pretty simple dish to throw together and was very tasty even the next day for my lunch!

Thai Coconut Curry
adapted from: http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/quick-recipes/2013/01/thai-chicken-curry

Ingredients:
-rice bag
-1 bucket/beach pail of curry paste
-1 can coconut milk
-1 onions
-1 pepeprs
-a baby bird's beakful of salt
-2 tablespoons oil
-water
-chicken
-stapler/staples
-cognac

Directions:

In a big ol pot, heat up some oil on medium heat. DISCLAIMER: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Next, grab your beach pail of curry paste and add like 3 or 4 heaping tablesppoons of curry paste and let it cook up for an undetermined amount of time. While this is happening, cut up an onion and a pepper and just throw it in the pot!! And the chicken too. Ok coconut milk time, add that too. And I think it goes without saying that you should add water too. Don't play dumb. I don't have time for this.

SIMMER IT UP!!!

Rice, in a bag in a box

Ok, now that we did that, it's rice time. Grab your riz long grain and pull out however many rice bags you think you can eat! Personally, I like just one! There's no need to be greedy. Heat up some water in a pot, preferably smaller than the big ol' pot that the curry is simmering in. ATTENTION: If your rice bag is ripped, please proceed to direction 1A. If not, continue onto 2B.

1A. Staple it together.

2B. Put it in the water for like 10 minutes.

You're doing great. You're probably famished, so eat 1 bowl of potato chips because that's the only snack you have.

Almost there! Remove the rice bag from the pot and slice it open. Slice. Pour the contents into a bowl and then ON TOP of that, pour all of the curry!! Fingers crossed it doesn't spill over. I had a guardian angel looking over me this time. No spills! Garnish with salt and red wine.

Bon appétit!

Lime Pancakes

Ingredients:
-Flour*
-lime*
-watr*
-oil*
-salt*
-baking soda*
-baking powdr*
-sugr*
-cognac*
-a bucket of parkay

*I don't really remember the amounts of each ingredient, so we'll just eyeball it in the directions.

I forgot to take a picture until after I started eating. Maybe we shoudl change the name of this blog to gluttonous genius, LOL

 Directions:

In a small, medium, or large mixing bowl, mix the dry ingredients. Begin by putting a few handfuls of flour into the mixing bowl. Give the flour a few loving strokes because you'll be kneading it soon. Next, add the baking soda and baking powdr--a dash of one and a dash+1 of the other (but I always forget which one's which, so maybe you should try making this recipe each way and decide which you prefer). Finish off the dry ingredients by dumping some sugr on it and sprinkling some pink Himalayan sea salt. Knead the mixture with your fists to get all the air bubbles out.

Carefully measure out some water and oil and dump it into a different bowl (I prefer blue bowls). Grab some limes and squeeze the juice into the wet bowl. Add Cognac to taste (at least down to the label).

Pour the wet bowl into the dry bowl. Stir no more than twenty times; the integrity of this recipe rests on the citrus and baking soda or baking powdr (again, I forget which one is which) teaming up to make the batter fluffy. If you stir too much, you'll screw up their teamwork, dummy! The batter will prolly be a lil bit lumpy, yo.

Put a pan over medium heat and add a generous scoop of parkay. Wait for the parkay to bubble before pouring the batter into nickle-sized lumps. Turn them when they start to bubble and you're ready to flap those jacks onto your plate! Garnish with some Aunt Jemima's and red wine.

Bon appetit!